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Thread: The Birds and the Bees

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2015
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    Default The Birds and the Bees

    I would love some direction as to how you handled this topic with your pre-teens? Iíve got the Godís Design books, and weíve read Book 2 Before I Was Born several times, but my girls, 10.5 & 11.5 are needing more. I have the next book, Whatís the Big Deal, but Iím not sure. Didnít seem like a natural read. I love that my girls come to me with their questions. I definitely want to be the one to answer them or help them find the answers. But I also donít want to give them too much information. These are uncharted waters for me! DH and I certainly didnít have parents that encouraged discussion of this type.

    So glad this is a safe place to ask.
    Mindy - wife to Colin since '03, mommy to FIVE fabulous kids dd12, d10.5, ds8.5, dd6.5, dd4.5

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
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    Au
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    Default

    We read Almost 12, all though after they were 12 to be honest. I skipped parts of the final bit for various reasons. I would encourage you to pre-read, but that's me & you may feel differently. FWIW, I have one who took it all in stride {he was over 12} & the younger one who was more curious {at 12 or just about 12} who was white faced & round eyed when it was over. He jumped up & said, "I could have lived 100 years if you'd never told me that horror story."
    Kendra, wife of Lawrence, mother of three.

    I would be most content if my children grew up to be the kind of people who think decorating consists mostly of building enough bookshelves.

  3. #3
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    Feb 2007
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    Alabama
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    Default

    Mindy, when my girls were about 10, we went over the Am. Girl book The Care and Keeping of You, and I gave them the copy of the book to refer to as often as they needed/wanted. That covers all "girl" stuff but no boy stuff and no s#x.


    Once they actually started their periods, I went over s*x. I got two books -- the 3rd one from the God's Design for S#x series -- What's the Big Deal
    and How You are Changing -- https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/07...?ie=UTF8&psc=1 I'd read through both of them and actually discussed the topics before I just handed them the books (diseases, I think birth control might be in there?, m@lestation ). Honestly, I can't remember all the details -- it's been a LONG time ago BTW, I didn't go over it the day after or even the week after they started (that might have been too traumatic ). I waited a few months, probably, until they were comfortable with what was going on with them, and then I introduced them to the next step.

    That's what I did with my girls.

    Hope that helps.
    Wife to Jim and Mama to Katie (1/01), Mattie (9/02), Cale (4/05), and Ben (8/08)

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Location
    TX
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    Default

    Thanks ladies.

    Kendra, I haven't heard of that book, so I will look into it.

    Paige, yes, The American Girl book is the one they have, and older daughter has the one for older girls. We read it together. I have What's the Big Deal, but... it seems like too much for now, at 10 & 11.5 - neither have started their periods. I don't know. My oldest has all these questions. (!!) But it has occurred to me that while I thought she had lots of questions about s#x, I think they stem more from an interest in babies. Whew!

    Thanks so much for suggestions. It helps.
    Mindy - wife to Colin since '03, mommy to FIVE fabulous kids dd12, d10.5, ds8.5, dd6.5, dd4.5

  5. #5
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    FWIW Mindy, my youngest was full of questions too {he's male} & wanted to know all the gritty little details. When I went over it all with my eldest I had my youngest come sit in the room too. We read the book Almost 12 in one sitting. My eldest was more 13 or 14ish & my youngest was therefore only 11 or 12. While I was reading the older kept saying, "What? This is so not.. ew." Where as my youngest said nothing.

    When I put the book down & asked if there were any questions I looked at my youngest who was as white as a ghost. He said, "I could have lived 100 years had you not told me that. I'm not sure I'll survive another minute now." He was not ready. Despite his questions, he simply wasn't ready. In fact he will tune out, immediately, if he hears what he deems as "body" talk which is really REALLY unhelpful when he's at the Dr & they are trying to get to the bottom of things for him.
    Kendra, wife of Lawrence, mother of three.

    I would be most content if my children grew up to be the kind of people who think decorating consists mostly of building enough bookshelves.

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