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Thread: When older kids struggle...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    4,487

    Default When older kids struggle...

    I posted this on the Prayer Place... but thought it might be useful to have it here as well.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Several of you are struggling with adult, or near-adult children making some bad choices. Getting them potty-trained and teaching them to read seemed like overwhelming problems to overcome. But it turns out those were the easy things. When they get into their teens and beyond is when the real challenges often rear their ugly heads.

    I once read a column of the late Billy Graham in the newspaper. A mother asked, "my child was brought up as a Christian but now they're making bad choices. What can I do to get them to live by their convictions?" Graham answered, "oh they are ma'am. Up until now they've been living by YOUR convictions but now they're living by their own And now you need to pray that God changes their convictions."

    And of course Graham should know. His own son Franklin went through some dark and difficult years in his teens. He even wrote a book about it: "Rebel With a Cause."

    A friend once observed, "Everybody has to come through the revolving door of faith." Just because a child has perfect attendance pins from Sunday school and memorized Bible verses at Vacation Bible School, doesn't automatically mean they're going to make Godly, or even good choices as an adult. Each child needs to go through that revolving door and choose to come back INTO the Christian life under their own power. Some, like Franklin Graham, may wander for a few years. Some wander for many years. And some just go out the door, whiff the world and come right back in immediately.

    For the past 35+ years since we began homeschooling I've told the same story. I felt as if the Lord told me that I was responsible for how my children were raised. But a year or two later he told me something else. He said, 'But your children are responsible for how they turn out." We all know great kids that have come from terrible families, and terrible kids that have come from great families. Both parents and children have a part to play in the outcome.

    So in the end, we do our best, and leave the results with the Lord. Afterall, he loves our children far more than we ever will. Pray that those seeds that have been planted with bear much fruit... in due season. Keep communication lines open and pray often. Trust the work of the Holy Spirit in your children's lives.

    Blessings,

    Steve
    Publisher
    Five in a Row

    "Here's the gospel: you're more sinful than you ever dared believe; you're more loved than you ever dared hope." Tim Keller


  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    15,797

    Default

    Thank you for the encouragement, Steve!
    Heather wife to Dan and embracing the independent nature of homeschooling with our fantastic four (19 ds, 18 dd, 16 ds, 13 ds).

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Alabama
    Posts
    16,223

    Default

    Such truth!
    Wife to Jim and Mama to Katie (1/01), Mattie (9/02), Cale (4/05), and Ben (8/08)

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    No longer in Texas
    Posts
    4,975

    Default

    These words bring me great encouragement today. I needed some reassurance!
    Mom to Grace (15), Sarah (13), and Hannah (11)
    Using my college degree in ways I never imagined....

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Kansas flint hills
    Posts
    2,430

    Default

    Sharing this with a friend today. Thanks, Steve!
    Livin' on the prairie with special husband and wonderful young lady! (7/00)

  6. #6

    Default

    Wisdom. Thank you.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    So. Cal
    Posts
    3,554

    Default

    Such truth. We teach them correct principles but ultimately they have their own agency, which is a gift. Our most important task then is to love them. No matter what.

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