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Thread: Men, P*rn & More

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    Exclamation Men, P*rn & More

    Touchy but vital subject. I was motivated by the Anon Prayer Place post about yet another husband and porn. I think this is IMPORTANT INFORMATION and I wanted to share it with you. In fact I made it a sticky- at least for now.

    I JUST came from an appointment with a neurologist regarding headaches and follow up to the brain bleed I had 3 years ago. (Some of you know that story, others don't- doesn't matter.)

    ANYWAY... we got to talking about a heart-breaking situation Jane and I had just witnessed earlier in the day where a seemingly good 38-year-old Christian husband and father had abandoned his family following multiple extramarital affairs. He's currently dating a 21-year-old college coed.

    AS WE TALKED the neurologist (a Christian) began telling me about 2 recent studies from Harvard which suggest that the surge in adultery and the use of p*rnography is directly related to LOW testosterone levels.

    She used lots of bio-chemistry words that were mumbo-jumbo to me but the bottom line was this. New research suggests that men aren't pursuing all this because they have TOO MUCH drive- but because they have an extremely LOW drive.

    The causes (according to the studies) are partly environmental (chemicals, food additives, etc.) and partly that men don't do manly things anymore which BUILD testosterone but rather sit in front of the TV, play videogames, etc.

    The cycle is this: LOW testosterone which results in depression, lethargy and poor self-image. THIS drives them to adultery and p*rnography because it artificially gives the testosterone level a SURGE. Think of it like eating 3 glazed donuts when your blood sugar is low. THEN the testosterone level plunges again (just as insulin drives your blood sugar back down lower than before) and then the need for another "fix" as they seek to crawl out of lethargy, depression and regain mental health, virility, etc.

    FASCINATING!

    The point is this: If your husband is having a problem in this area (and SO MANY are!) MAKE HIM GET A PHYSICAL AND GET HIS TESTOSTERONE LEVELS TESTED!!! There ARE answers for low levels.

    The neurologist said that 25-30-year-old men today are frequently exhibiting testosterone levels that would have been considered normal for an 80-year-old man just 30 years ago!!

    Their level SHOULD be 800-900 and in some cases is as low as 100 and frequently below 200. The result is being withdrawn, angry, depressed, having no energy or ambition and constantly seeking a "Fix" even though they can't explain why. The hormone levels are pushing them to self-medicate. Women are certainly familiar with the unexplainable but real ways in which monthly hormone cycles alter their mental wellbeing, their moods and emotions- even their actual behavior.

    Let me add: This in *NO WAY* is an excuse or gives a man a "pass" on this behavior!! But it does perhaps explain how/why men may even be genuine and sincere when they promise "no more." Even THEY may not understand why they keep doing the very thing they promised not to do. Yes- there *IS* a place for willpower and resolve. But I find it interesting that they may have far more complex issues driving their destructive behavior than even they understand.

    MAKE HIM GET TESTED!!

    Blessings,

    Steve
    Publisher
    Five in a Row

    "Here's the gospel: you're more sinful than you ever dared believe; you're more loved than you ever dared hope." Tim Keller


  2. #2
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    That is really fascinating. :wow:
    Jen, so thankful to be wife to Jason and mom to artsy Rachel (17), explorer Mary Evelyn (14), and tenderhearted Betsie (9)

  3. #3
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    Thank you for sharing. I never cease to be amazed at the biochemical roots of so many problems that people have. This makes perfect sense, and every adult should be aware of it.
    ~eclectic homeschooling mom of 3

  4. #4
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    Very fascinating, Steve. Thanks for bringing the awareness to us!
    Jen, wife to Bryan of 20 years and mom to 6. In our 11th year of rowing while dealing with Fibromyalgia. Houston Bryant (17),Emmy-Anne (16), Annie Caroline (14), Natalie BreAnne (12), Ally Suzanne (10), and Camden Emery (8)

  5. #5
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    That is so interesting; it reminds me of the book Boys Adrift which also addresses chemical reasons for lower testosterone in today's younger male generation.
    Wife of Ayden, mom of nine: Chelsea (31) married to Francois; Shannon (29) married to Seb;
    Alex (27) and GF April and their preschooler Ayden II and baby Luke;
    Lindsay (25) married to Jordan; Kimberly (23); Jake (21); Jamie (19); Olivia (17) and Kylie (15)

  6. #6
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    Well said! I cannot believe that your head injury was 3 years ago. Time really does fly.
    Tracey in GA, vegetarian momma to 2 veggie eating teen girls in the south. We ain't got southern accents but we love sweet tea!

  7. #7
    Nancy Ann Guest

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    That is so incredibly interesting!!!

    I suppose it's starts off with low testosterone levels and than leads to an addiction and habit. I am wondering if it would still be challenging to give up this addiction if you had help getting your testosterone levels fixed?

    However, this is still really great advice for couples struggling with this!!

  8. #8
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    Dr Daniel G Amen has written some pretty incredible stuff regarding chemicals, hormones, etc and addictions.
    Jessica Vega
    Mom to eigth, six still at home... Rowers since 1997
    "God will only give you what you would have asked for if you knew everything he knows" Timothy Keller

  9. #9
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    Thanks for sharing Steve, very interesting.
    Loving, learning, and living in central VA with my adventurous husband of 14 years and our three children.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Julie Y View Post
    That is so interesting; it reminds me of the book Boys Adrift which also addresses chemical reasons for lower testosterone in today's younger male generation.
    It reminds me of the book "the Good Earth" it's been awhile, but I remember something about how a young man needs to work hard, or it will end up leading him to trouble.


    I agree fascinating stuff!
    I'd be interested in a link to the study if you are able to post one.
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Blessed to be a homeschooling Mom!
    dd 22 and dgs 1, dd 19, ds 17, dd 14, dd 9, ds 7, ds 6, ds 3

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