Touchy but vital subject. I was motivated by the Anon Prayer Place post about yet another husband and porn. I think this is IMPORTANT INFORMATION and I wanted to share it with you. In fact I made it a sticky- at least for now.
I JUST came from an appointment with a neurologist regarding headaches and follow up to the brain bleed I had 3 years ago. (Some of you know that story, others don't- doesn't matter.)
ANYWAY... we got to talking about a heart-breaking situation Jane and I had just witnessed earlier in the day where a seemingly good 38-year-old Christian husband and father had abandoned his family following multiple extramarital affairs. He's currently dating a 21-year-old college coed.
AS WE TALKED the neurologist (a Christian) began telling me about 2 recent studies from Harvard which suggest that the surge in adultery and the use of p*rnography is directly related to LOW testosterone levels.
She used lots of bio-chemistry words that were mumbo-jumbo to me but the bottom line was this. New research suggests that men aren't pursuing all this because they have TOO MUCH drive- but because they have an extremely LOW drive.
The causes (according to the studies) are partly environmental (chemicals, food additives, etc.) and partly that men don't do manly things anymore which BUILD testosterone but rather sit in front of the TV, play videogames, etc.
The cycle is this: LOW testosterone which results in depression, lethargy and poor self-image. THIS drives them to adultery and p*rnography because it artificially gives the testosterone level a SURGE. Think of it like eating 3 glazed donuts when your blood sugar is low. THEN the testosterone level plunges again (just as insulin drives your blood sugar back down lower than before) and then the need for another "fix" as they seek to crawl out of lethargy, depression and regain mental health, virility, etc.
The point is this: If your husband is having a problem in this area (and SO MANY are!) MAKE HIM GET A PHYSICAL AND GET HIS TESTOSTERONE LEVELS TESTED!!! There ARE answers for low levels.
The neurologist said that 25-30-year-old men today are frequently exhibiting testosterone levels that would have been considered normal for an 80-year-old man just 30 years ago!!
Their level SHOULD be 800-900 and in some cases is as low as 100 and frequently below 200. The result is being withdrawn, angry, depressed, having no energy or ambition and constantly seeking a "Fix" even though they can't explain why. The hormone levels are pushing them to self-medicate. Women are certainly familiar with the unexplainable but real ways in which monthly hormone cycles alter their mental wellbeing, their moods and emotions- even their actual behavior.
Let me add: This in *NO WAY* is an excuse or gives a man a "pass" on this behavior!! But it does perhaps explain how/why men may even be genuine and sincere when they promise "no more." Even THEY may not understand why they keep doing the very thing they promised not to do. Yes- there *IS* a place for willpower and resolve. But I find it interesting that they may have far more complex issues driving their destructive behavior than even they understand.
MAKE HIM GET TESTED!!